You can always:
- Make more money
- Grow your community
- Add to your bucket list.
But it can be difficult to find abundance in the amount of time we have each day.
We often say to ourselves: I wish I had the time for (insert here) or I just don’t have the time.
This is me almost every day but the truth is that it is up to me to MAKE the time for what I want.
On this episode, I provide simple ways of time-management for your best life.
Welcome back to “For Better Self & Net Worth”, Ella here and I am glad you have joined me.
To start off the show, I wanted to talk about the book of the week. The book I wanted to feature on this episode is “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. I personally found so much value/inspiration in this book that I actually read it twice in a row. This may be the first book in which I have done this. It only takes about 4 hours to read or you can even download the audio version and listen to on your walks or while driving.
The theme of this book is to up level your life by discovering and conquering your deep -seeded fears that are unconsciously holding you back.
Some of your hidden fears can be:
- Feeling inadequate
- Fearing consequences of your success.
- Disloyalty or abandonment.
- The “Crime” of outshining others.
Early on in life, we are taught not to outshine others or be “too much” for others to deal with. I’ll never forget doing show choir in middle school. We got to tour the elementary schools and even put on a show for the school. On the bus to the elementary school, some possibly well-meaning friends told me that I needed to tone-down my performance.
This required that we do dance moves, I had a solo in the show and I intentionally had a smile as I was singing. I wanted to perform. I wanted to do my best. Then, I was called out saying that I was making every one else look stupid with my performance and that I was intentionally trying to outshine every one else. On the contrary, teachings and parents complemented my enthusiasm and performance style. With my peers, I felt betrayed. They were mad at me for doing something I enjoyed and putting my heart into something and even made fun of me for putting energy into performing. Singing, dancing and any kind of performing can also be a form of vulnerability for me as it also opens up a way for people to judge me.
This has happened in other instances in my life throughout school, I had friends get mad for me at achieving better grades, winning an art competition and even got shamed for being the teacher’s pet throughout my school career. The tings is actually enjoyed learning, I either struggled to pay attention but I enjoyed it. Little did I know, this would be my early life stages of what Hendricks would call “an upper limit problem”. I would hold myself back and minimize myself in order to fit in and not be made fun of.
Now, as an adult with a strong career, commitment outside work and a social life. One of my upper limit problems is time-management.
With our upper limit problems, we could be keeping our selves in a zone beneath, the ultimate goal which is living in the zone of genius.
So the four zones in the book are:
- The zone of incompetence: Something were are not skilled at or don’t have knowledge in. This would be me playing sports as a kid other than swim team.
- The zone of competence: Something we can do a task we can handle well but on a average scale.
- The Zone of excellence: This is where most of us are in in our careers. We do something we excel at BUT
- The zone of genius, is doing something we love, doesn’t feel like work and we are also successful at what we do.
So, Hendricks, in the BIG Leap talks about ways to get into your zone of genius but before we do this, you have to define your upper limits Problem.
Two other notes I found from this book that resonated with me are this: in the acknowledgments, he stated that running a business is a spiritual practice and that time is an illusion, as referenced by Albert Einstein. He there dedicated a whole chapter to this talking about Einstein time after I noted that time management could be an upper limit for me but really it was putting off my personal goals for rest and responsibilities in other areas of my life.
This leads into the topic of time-management. You will see that my simple tips for time-management may be unique from other approaches you may have attempted before but as responsibilities in life increase, I take this by the moment and find ways to work with that without letting myself get overwhelmed or stressed out.
While it is exciting to see everything getting back to normal at a quick pace, it also feels like an avalanche of commitments and responsibility are coming my way. My work responsibilities at full capacity, social events that I want to attend are back and I am planning to start traveling some more soon. While this is promising and I am glad to get back to normal life, it can be overwhelming at the same time It can even be exhausting.
The term full-plate can apply. I feel like even through my plate is full of good stuff, it is also, full and feels heavy at the same time. I will warn you not to make a drinking game out of this show because the word time will come up a lot. On Sunday, I planed to record but to be honest, I felt extremely tired so I just made the executive decision to take a full day off. Trust me, the more I live, the more I realize that I need days with absolutely nothing on my agenda. Our society tends to put shame on do nothing days but this is actually self-care. Anyone that will judge you may feel bitter as the responsibility in their lives may seem overwhelming to them.
Here is the thing, stress relief should be on top of your priority list when it comes to time-management. You have to energize before you give your energy to others. Event interaction we have, every task and every thought is an energy deposit. You must choose wisely how you deposit your energy. The way you relied stress and accumulate more energy can be fitness (walking, yoga, swimming), you can muster it up from resting, taking hot showers, spiritual devotion or meditation. All of these are great ways to de-stress and give energy back to yourself.
When writing in your planner, obviously make your goals attainable. Prioritize wisely. Obviously, your full-time job will take up most of your time or your family. Put that first. Also, don’t be afraid to put a time frame around your tasks. A work meeting, you can make 1.5 or 2 hours for that, you can make 30 minutes or an hour to work out, set a date night, make the time work for you. I know realistically that when I give time to other priories, I have to set some aside for me whether it is my writing, listening to podcasts and such. I even schedule it for myself.
Keep in mind, some of the little tasks throughout the day such a phone calls, grabbing something to eat, going to the grocery store. You want to account for time in this because on a full day, small tasks can be overwhelming. We did a project in a workshop I did two years ago and what we did was matched symbols to numbers then numbers to lettings and the code read: multitasking is a lie. We have all told ourselves we can do more than one thing at once such a cooking and talking on the phone or doing emails while watching TV but the truth is that one task will always take some focus away from the other so it is very important to take the time to evaluate each activity and what you put into it.
Organization is always key to time-management as well, I always have all my electronics charging at night, I keep sanitizer, cosmetics, can touch ups with me at all times, I even have a suitcase that is always packed with things I need, so I don’t forget to pack certain things, I organize my vitamins, first thing before the week and I keep tabs on weather so I can someday soon FINALLY get my paddle board on the water. I had a teacher with a sign that said, “I would be dangerous if I were organized.” Organization is energizing! I will say it again, staying organized is a way to energize. Make time for this.
Now, back to making your calendar. With everything outside of the basics, work, self-care, you have to ask yourself: is this worth my time or interaction? People-pleasing will erase your time from your always!
What do you get out of each event? Is this energizing you or do you need to rest when you get home? Think about who you spend your time with ? Are you closet friends in alignment with what you want to achieve in life? One of the biggest keys in time-management is to pay attention to your energy and how you feel then see if that is something you want to give time to or not.
When I tell myself that I don’t feel like I have time for something, it is really that I don’t have the energy to put into this or want to put my energy into this. What I found in some of the recent years was that I was putting my time or energy into certain things outside basic responsibility is because it was the right thing or that I didn’t want to upset anyone.
Before the pandemic, I realized that I was so busy being there for others that I didn’t do much for myself. For years, I told myself I didn’t really have a lot of time to date or that I didn’t have the energy for it. The reality is, I don’t make the energy for it because I don’t want to waste my time on someone that is not in alignment with the life that I want for myself.
So, when you manage your time, you are also managing your energy, well-being, and it is a fine art of self-care.
When I make time for something, I ask my self:
Is there a ROI-return on investment. This is where your jobs will take precedent. The other question is do you love your work? If not, you may want to change that. I work over 50-hours a week but since I truly enjoy both of my jobs, they don’t feel like work most of the time. This is flirting with a zone of genius to where my work doesn’t have to feel like work.
Second question: Why I am doing this? If you are committing stop something as a way a pleasing others and not feeling it yourself then don’t be afraid to say no. Most phone calls can be texts. If I make a plan to go out on the town, I know I want something more than just a drink. I have to make it worth my time with live music a show and a social interaction I don’t have to yell at you for. I also find that I enjoy being on the trails or the lake as being in nature energies me. Don’t be afraid to vocalize what you want in making plans.
Do you volunteer anywhere? The right passion can be energizing for you! Something that you just want to add to your resume or find ways to meet other people will not energize you.
Third question: How does this commitment or task align with the life I want for myself? Is this event just taking up time? Are you around the types of people you want to be around?
These are all honest simple questions but you may be surprised at how often the hustle bustle of everything makes you forget about why are you are committed to something in the first place.
So, as we exit this pandemic madness, and get back to what we perceive as the normal life, make sure you prioritize your tasks wisely, and pay attention in how you deposit your energy. They say your time is money but I will add to this t saying that your time is your energy. Both your money and energy should be spent wisely, just like you would spend your time in the same respect.
Alright, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this and that it was well-worth your time and energy! Thanks for listening and if you love this show, feel free to share and/or leave a review!
EllaCoNomic 